Bait Car is a show where the police rig a special trick car to catch car thieves. The Bait Car has hidden cameras on the dashboard (see left,) and it can be controlled remotely. Its fucking awesome.
First, they stage a scene where they have the pretend owner of the bait car either leave it running by accident, or leave the keys on the hood or something pretty obvious. Then, they sit back and wait for someone (usually someone who witnessed the little scene) to come and steal the car after the fake owner leaves. There are microphones and cameras everywhere, so viewers get to see and hear the guy(s) (sometimes its a woman - but rarely) even when they haven't gotten in the car yet. They talk about whether they should steal it or not, they try to convince their friend to do it instead, etc, whatever the case may be. Before you know it they are getting in the car. The dashboard cameras let us see them get all excited about it as they begin driving away. A few blocks later, the cops start flashing their sirens behind them, and the thieves start to freak out. Then, (and this is the best part,) the cops remotely hit a button that not only turns off the car but locks the doors so that the guys can't get out. Its fucking hilarious.
This is extremely entertaining to watch as a show. But, its also a brilliant idea in general (and I'm sure its existed for years prior to being on tv,) because you're catching the same doofuses who would have done this to a real person while sparing the headache and inconvenience of it happening to an innocent person's real car.
I think its the best thing ever and I think there should be Bait Cars on every block. In fact, I think there should be Bait versions of everything. Bait everything, everywhere.
Here are my ideas:
BAIT STORE: An electronics store with easily accessible expensive items and one blind employee. The store exit is a set of automatic doors that lead to a small area for the shopping carts and signage, etc. Then, in this small area, is another set of automatic doors that lead outside to the parking lot. The control room in the back can remotely close both the door to the shopping cart area and the door to the parking lot. After someone passes the first set of doors with stolen merchandise, both sets of doors close and lock - trapping them in the shopping cart area with the items.
This little area is important for two reasons:
1. Legally, one cannot be charged with shoplifting until they leave the store with the stolen things (even if they are stuffing their pockets) because it can't be proven that they didn't have the intention to pay for the items later. (Weird, I know.)
2. We don't want the thief to make it all the way outside because then the bait team will probably have to run after them.
So, the shoplifter realizes he can't get out to the parking lot because the door won't open. He tries to dash back into the store to drop the merch before getting caught, but those doors quickly close and lock too. Then the outer set begins to open, but closes before he reaches it. Then the inner ones again. Since the bait-doorways are disguised as automatic doors with sensors, it should be a while before the thief realizes its being done on purpose. The more he's made to run back and forth, the better.
BAIT WALLET: An undercover officer, as big and heavy of a guy as possible, acts like a tourist in Times Square with his wallet half out of his backpack. The tucked-in side of the Bait Wallet has a 30 foot cord which is attached to a reel in the officer's backpack. A thief grabs the wallet and either runs or tries to disappear into the crowd. He may or may not have noticed the cord. When he reaches 20 feet away a device is engaged which releases superglue from the wallet, bonding it to whatever it is touching (thief's hand, thief's pocket.) Then, when the cord reaches 30 feet, the reel begins to recoil and wind back the other way, dragging the thief back to the undercover officer. Bam. This sequence should take all of about 30 seconds.
BAIT HOUSE: This one is a no-brainer. There's a gorgeous house with no residents, no locks and a silent alarm, located in a bad neighborhood. There is at least one hidden camera in each room and all activity is being watched from a remote location. When the thieves enter through any of the doors (or windows) the silent alarm goes off. 30 seconds later all doors and windows quietly lock from the outside AND inside. While items are being bagged and drawers ransacked, the officers at the remote location hit a button which suddenly turns on the lights in the house and plays a sound clip of a family coming home. The sound is played throughout the house and is expertly designed to be faint and slightly echoey, so, no matter where you are in the house, it sounds like its coming from another location. Hilarity ensues as the thieves try to escape, running from locked door/window to the next, trying to avoid the elusive fake residents who's location cannot be figured out. If the robbers are armed, cardboard cut-out figures will pop out from around corners (also controlled by those at the remote location) until all ammunition is wasted and all robbers are thoroughly confused. The sound recording stops, the lights stay on, and things settle down. The robbers are left locked in the house for weeks, fending for themselves until the well-stocked kitchen cabinets are bare. This part will also be a reality show.
HAUNTED BAIT HOUSE: A variation on the regular BAIT HOUSE, involving more sound effects and the addition of holograms. If there is more than one robber, top-notch microphones throughout the house will allow the bait team to eavesdrop on any communication between them in an effort to learn their names. Voice overs for the ghosts will be done live from the remote location so that the ghosts can use the robbers names when speaking to them. Haunted Bait House will be done in predominantly Hispanic neighborhoods, because Hispanic people hate that spirit shit.
I think its totally doable. What do you say, TruTV?
Please feel free to share any Bait ideas of your own in the comments section. TruTV totally reads my blog and considers my highly logical and feasible ideas, so they might consider yours, too. Who knows.
I think it's your best idea for show business yet, and it would be funny as hell=more audience=more $$$ in your pocket, but I wonder how would you even try to spread your idea to a real director or tru tv itself?
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