Beauty

      I don't know if I should pursue a career in design or see a psychiatrist, but either way I want to make love to the following inanimate objects:

Sobe Bottles

iPhone Box (The Actual Box)

Almost Any Longboard (But Definitely This One)

      Now I don't mean I'd want to have sex with these objects right now as a human being, you perverts, I mean like if I were also an inanimate object and I happened to see one of the things above at like a bar for inanimate objects, I'd totally slip something in the inanimate object's drink and inanimately f*ck the living shit out of him/her/it.

      Nothing like weird or anything.

      Plus, longboards aren't really inanimate when they're rolling, right?

Sector 9 Tree Barrel Sidewinder Longboard, SoBe Smooth Pina Colada Drink - 20-Fl. Oz. Bottles (Pack of 12)

I Apologize In Advance To All The Chairs In My House

     I discovered www.coolcasters.com when I was sitting on the couch with my laptop.  I was on this website for probably an hour, or some other amount of time that is way too long.
     My girlfriend came upstairs.  I must have had some kind of excited look on my face, because she asked what I was doing and sat down next to me.  She looked at the screen.
     "Wheels!" I said.
     She looked at me, looked back at the screen, looked back at me, smiling and nodding blankly.  She gave me two taps on the head and went back downstairs.
    Wheels!  Different ones.  For things. You put them on. Colors.