Saturday, April 9, 2011

Send In The Clowns

    I am on a mission and I need your help.
    When I was little I was afraid of clowns.  Actually, yeah I was afraid of clowns, but more specifically I was afraid of "The Clowns."
    My Grandma had in her house these two clown faces that my Aunt had made from a mold and painted when she was little-  one was happy and one was sad (like the theatre masks)- they were about a foot tall and maybe 8 inches wide, somewhat three dimensional but with a flat back so they can be hung on the wall.  Same idea as this picture on the left, for the most part.
    About 6 or 7 years of my life were controlled by The Clowns. LOL.
    One thing about me that my close friends know is that I can go a very long time without peeing.  It totally comes in handy for car rides, etc, and works perfectly with my laziness since going to the bathroom often requires getting up from the comfortable position you're in.  Well the reason why I can go so long without peeing is this: for a good chunk of my childhood I would never use the bathroom at my Grandma's house because the bathroom was upstairs and so were The Clowns.  The Clowns weren't in the bathroom nor did you have to walk by them in order to get to the bathroom - but they can be seen from the top of the stairs where the bathroom was. And that was enough for me to never, ever relieve myself.  Ask me what my Grandma's bathroom looked like and I'll tell you I have no clue.
    You may be wondering why I didn't just tell my Grandma so she could take them down - but it wasn't that simple.  At some point, I don't remember what age, word got out that I was terrified of these things and my Grandma did take them down - and I'm sure that would have solved the problem for a normal child.  But my fear of The Clowns was so beyond rational that not having them hanging on the wall in their usual spots made things even worse because it meant they could be anywhere.  So basically I was afraid of going anywhere in the house at that point.
    Its funny because I have hardly thought about The Clowns at all since all of this.   My Grandma has since passed away and my Grandpa doesn't live in that house anymore, and I know for a fact that The Clowns were given to some rummage sale at the church I used to go to when the house was being cleared out (my sister saw them in a box and yelled "Jule! The Clowns are in here!"  I was 13 or 14 so I was entertained by her finding them but I still had no intention of going to see.)
    So now, 20 years later, all I want to do is find an image of these damn clowns. Thats where I need your help.
    I'm really curious to see what my reaction would be to seeing them.  I thought I might be able to draw them but I wasn't- it didn't work.  I figured since my Grandma told me my Aunt made them when she was little, and they were like a plaster of paris kind of thing (I think they were- I never got close enough to tell) so I'm assuming there has to be other ones made from those same molds, even.  And there was likely more than one of that mold itself made too- so there has to be quite a few of these same clowns floating around the world, albeit painted differently.
    I tried googling different word combinations like "happy sad clown faces" or "decorative plaster clown faces" - and slowly, with my heart pounding, browsed through the images that came up lol.  I saw some similar things but not them.
    I forget what they are called but I bet if I sat down with one of those people who talk with a victim and draw up the robber or rapist's face based on their descriptions- and its always the same big faced, mixed ethnicity dude with a ski hat lol ("Have You Seen This Man?" Yeah I saw him last time you drew him) I would be able to end up with an exact image of The Clowns, because I DO know what they look like.  Idunno its weird.
    So, if you're willing to help me in this mission, here are some ideas.
Same overall concept (can be put on a wall,
somewhat three dimensional, just head no body etc)

The eyebrows and style of this are close enough that  it gives me agida

The bottom frilly things they definitely had,
and the coloring is like this though the faces looked nothing
like these guys


This guys makeup and length of his head is the most
similar thing I've found so far.  I think they had
red hair on the side like this too.  ::shudders::

    If anyone comes across anything in someones house that might be a brother or sister made from the same mold as The Clowns, will you take your phone and snap a picture for me?  Or if you come across anything on the internet, can you put a link to it here in the comments?
    Or if you attended a rummage sale at The Riverdale Presbyterian Church around 1998 and purchased two horrifying clown faces for god knows what reason, will you let me know?

Thanks guys!

4 comments:

  1. Clowns can be scary but not as scary as Santa Claus. Heres a clown joke to prove to you clowns are just like people.

    Girl Clown: You remind me of the sea.
    Boy Clown: Why because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
    Girl Clown: No because you make me sick.

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  2. Santa Claus, huh? I totally have ammunition against you now

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  3. Ooh imagine a Santa Clown? I think I just decided on this year's halloween costume

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  4. How's the hunt going? I haven't come across any clowns as per your description but Garage Sale season is just starting up around my area so maaaaaaaybe I'll spot one. Is there a 1-800 number I can call if I do

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