You can drop it for 20 seconds

Dear Power 105.1,
     Hi.  We listen to your station at my job.  I wanted to let you know that it's ok to do the traffic reports in a normal, traffic-report-like manner. You don't have to make them sound cool.  I understand you are trying to appeal to a certain audience, but "Yo we got mad delays up on the southbound Meadowbrook Parkway" doesn't really work.
Just sayin'.

>Sincerely,
Juliet

She's watching me

I saw this ad on Facebook.  I kind of want to click on it but I'm home alone and its night time and I'm too creeped out.

P.S.  You get points if you noticed the quote instead of the apostrophe. 

P.P.S. You get double points if you can sleep tonight. 

LIST: TOP 6 CLUES THAT YOU'RE LAZY

(*Not that I've done these or anything...)

6. You've ashed your cigarette in at least ten things that aren't an ashtray
5. You try to throw something at your lightswitch to turn it off from your bed
4. You look for long items within reach (umbrella, etc) to use to push your door closed so you don't have to get up
3. You drank soda from a measuring cup because you didn't feel like doing dishes
2. You're working on a painting at your desk and realized you didn't put water in the cup to rinse off your brushes between colors- so you take some from your hamster's waterbottle because his cage is right there
1. You hear your dog in the other room possibly going through the trash- so you knock on the table knowing he'll run to the door barking and stop whatever he was doing

Psychic bitches be crazy

     Anyone who knows me pretty well will agree that I have something going on, and I'm not talking about my ravishing good looks.  I definitely have some kind of psychic ability- though I'm not sure what to call it or how to describe it.  But I got somethin'.  With an i, n, apostrophe. 

    So now that we got that out of the way, I've only recently started to give a shit so lately I've been trying to read up on psychicness for more information.

    So far I've learned two things:

    1) Clairvoyance or Claircognizance may be what I have, and 

2) Psychic people are out of their fucking minds.

    I'm serious.  I'm truly searching and I can't find one book, blog or essay that doesn't start like "I've always known ever since I was a young girl that I've once lived with dragons" or some crazy shit like that - ARE THERE NO NORMAL PSYCHIC PEOPLE??

    I'm not a super skeptic by any means either- I believe in a lot of stuff because basically, if you haven't noticed, this world we live in doesn't exactly make any sense.

    Yet, for some reason, I have this gut feeling that if you channel your unicorn spirit guide through your chakra you didn't get enough attention as a child.        

    So if you got something, if you know things but you don't know how, or you can read people and know things about them when you first meet them, or you can predict things, etc., yet you live a normal life that doesn't involve centaurs, HIT ME UP.  We'll make a facebook group.

The Best Webpage Ever. No words can describe.

Here it is:
Pixyland.org - Peter Pan's Webpage
     
     I found this website years and years ago- probably like in 2000 or 2001.  I'm happy to say that although the website has been getting more and more popular- (I think the guy, Randy Constan, has even appeared on TV talk shows since the creation of the site) the amazing low-budget feel of the pictures and site in general hasn't changed.  This is good, because its the low budgetness that makes it so fucking funny.
     I'd talk more about it, but as you'll soon see, its very difficult to describe and whatever you say in an effort to describe it does not do it justice.  Make sure you click on "Fashions" at the top- that's the best part.
    Its so weird - because some of the pictures of him in the different costumes are genuinely freaky-- usually just the way he poses for them and/or the faces he makes-- or his HANDS-- LOOK AT HOW HE POSITIONS HIS HANDS!!! But all in all I say good for him.  He has balls for doing what he wants to do and living this way if thats how he wants to live. You have to admit, its extremely refreshing to see someone just not give a shit what other people think, and put themselves out there like this. You go, Randy!


     I still wouldn't let him babysit my son or anything, though.

I know its weird, but I'm afraid of scary things.

     Although I love thunderstorms and when it rains really, really hard (the kind where you all gather around a window or go on the porch to watch it,) I enjoy it usually from within my house.  I prefer not to be out walking around in a thunderstorm, because lightning gives me agida.

     Whenever I tell someone this, I'm always met with a response like "What? You're afraid of lightning?" or "Are you REALLY?"

     Yes, I am really.  Do you know what lightning is? Are we talking about the same thing here?

      Because last time I checked, lightning was when a HUGE, UNPREDICTABLE BURST OF ELECTRIC CURRENT SHOOTS DOWN FROM THE SKY TO A RANDOM SPOT ON THE GROUND OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AND ELECTRICUTES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF WHATEVER HAPPENS TO BE THERE AT THAT MOMENT.

     I mean if you're talking about something else, that's fine.  But I'm talking about the thing I just described.

Still way too big

I'd rather listen to my music at home than lug that thing around with me.  I'm not a fucking body builder, Apple.